Bound in Darkness

  Kim ten Tusscher

  Bound in Darkness

  THE LILITH TRILOGY, BOOK 1

  ALTEREGOPRESS.COM

  Published in The Netherlands in 2010 by Zilverspoor

  English edition published in 2014 by Alter Ego press

  Copyright © Kim ten Tusscher, 2010

  Copyright © Zilverspoor/Alter Ego Press, 2014

  This translation © 2013 Zilverspoor/Alter Ego Press

  Cover illustration & design by Studio Zilverspoor

  Designed and typeset by Studio Zilverspoor

  Edited by Jos Weijmer

  Translation by Rianne Stolwijk, www.spelledout.nl

  Copy Editing by Studio Zilverspoor

  www.kimtentusscher.com

  Facebook: kimttee

  Twitter: @kim_t_tee

  www.alteregopress.com

  info@alteregopress.com

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  ISBN 978 94 9076 747 1

  All rights reserved, which includes the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

  All characters in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  Alter Ego Press is an imprint of Zilverspoor, www.zilverspoor.com.

  1

  A dull blow to her head caused Lilith to wake up. By reflex she tried to jump up, but the ropes around her wrists and ankles prevented her from doing so. She moaned and lay back down in resignation. Over the past few days, Lilith had been fruitlessly fighting her ties and, therefore, knew that she couldn’t free herself. Lemuel’s knots were just too tight.

  Lilith looked around carefully. As a result of the blow, a sharp pain surged through her head whenever she moved too quickly. She expected that Pavel had awoken her and was looking for his silhouette in the semi-dark. The two men had taken her captive and the younger of the two had been the least patient with her. She was, however, the only person in the covered wagon.

  Lilith did see a white stone, the size of a fist, lying next to her head. It glistened because it was wet. She knew it was hail. That was the word she had picked up during the first storm they had run into after she had been overpowered. She had also learned that it was made of ice. But how these stones could fall from the sky was a great mystery to her. In Lilith’s native country the weather was usually dry, and the drought was only ever interrupted by short showers. Suddenly she spotted the hole in the hood. Hailstones were thrumming on the roof of the wagon and more stones ripped the canvas. Some hit her. Lilith tried to shift into a different position, but again the ties got in the way.

  All of a sudden the wagon creaked and turned to the right. She rolled over, bumping her hip and elbow hard on the side board of the wagon. Lilith cursed. There wasn’t a spare ounce of fat on her body to cushion the blows, and the jolting wagon gave her more and more bruises. Then the horses pulling the wagon came to a halt. The hailstones were no longer bashing the hood, but Lilith could still hear the thrumming sound. Apparently the men had found another spot for them to take shelter.

  The canvas at the rear of the wagon was pulled aside and a blanket and a piece of bread were thrown in by Pavel. Behind him, Lilith could see that the storm was still raging violently. The canvas fell back down. While listening to Pavel’s footsteps, she looked at the food lying well out of her reach. She twisted to get a bit closer but soon gave up as it cost her too much energy.

  Lilith heard Lemuel ask something to his son . She couldn’t understand what they were saying, but by now she knew which voice belonged to which man. The elder one usually spoke in a calm voice and swallowed the end of his words. Pavel had the same accent but his voice was shriller.

  “I’m not going to any more trouble for her. That woman can take care of herself. She ought to be happy that we’re giving her anything at all,” he ranted.

  The response was unintelligible. The canvas moved aside again, but this time Lemuel appeared in the opening. He climbed into the wagon, covered Lilith up, and moved the piece of bread close to her face.

  “Can you reach it like this?” he asked, sounding slightly concerned.

  “It’s hard to eat with my hands tied,” Lilith tried.

  But the man shook his head. “Do you really expect me to untie you after what happened?”

  Lemuel apparently didn’t expect an answer, because he brought the waterskin to Lilith’s lips. After that, he jumped out of the wagon.

  “I hope that other group of travellers has found shelter as well,” he called out to his son while he remained where he was. “ It isn’t a fit night out for man nor beast.”

  Lilith’s heart skipped a beat. She strained herself to be able to hear the rest of the conversation. Could Lemuel be talking about her pursuers? He had to be, hadn’t he? It was unthinkable that anyone would travel in this cold without having a very good reason to do so. Even Pavel and his father had debated the wisdom of waiting for the weather to improve before bringing her to the capital to put her on trial. And now there was a group of travellers – plodding through the unremitting storms – taking the same road they were.

  “We haven’t seen them for a while,” Pavel answered. “Come, let’s go inside. I’m yearning for a nice fire to warm myself and I could do with some food.”

  The cracking sound of their footsteps in the snow faded. Lilith wanted to scream that they shouldn’t leave her all by herself, but instead she suffered a bad coughing fit. When she had finally caught her breath, the only sound that remained was that of the horses shoving their food around on the bottom of the buckets as they were eating. It was too late. If the men showed up now, there would be no one to protect her. Then all would have been in vain.

  The five men she feared had been pursuing her for several weeks and were sent by her master. In a fit of despair, Lilith had fled from him, from his suffocating authority and the horrible tasks he had imposed upon her. Running and creeping across savannahs and through forests, she had finally arrived at the mountains, hoping to shake off her pursuers there. But unfortunately the echo of laughter between the rocks spoke of the confidence of her pursuers, seemingly confident and in high hopes of finding her soon. Those sounds had made her even more wary. Under no circumstances did she want to fall into their hands again. This proved to be a great motivation; her fear had outweighed her fatigue and had kept her going.

  Now that her heart was finally beating more slowly, Lilith tried to eat the piece of bread. She sucked on it until it dissolved in her mouth. It took her a long time to eat the small lump. After that, she fell asleep again, in spite of her worries. Thanks to the second blanket she was at least a little bit less cold.

  All of a sudden someone pushed against her shoulder. The next instant she was lying face down in the snow.

  “No, Seraph, don’t. Help!” Lilith cried, with her nightmare fresh in the back of her mind. She kicked around wildly until she hit someone. Only when she was pushed onto her back, did she stop kicking. Pavel was standing beside her. His eyes were glowing while he pulled her up by her clothes.

  “Are you starting again?” he hissed. Then he let go of her. Lilith couldn’t stop herself from falling backwards and bumped her head on the wagon. “You’re going for a little walk.”

  “I don’t want to walk. Just take me there quickly,” she begged, all confused, while she looked up at Pavel.

  “Are you that eager to be punished?” he asked bewildered. “Or do you think the king won’t punish you for what you did to us?”

  “I’m not afraid to be judged. I’ve done nothing wrong.”

  “My brother was more dead than alive when we left him,” he snarled at her, kicking her in the ribs at the same time.

  “I nev
er meant for that to happen. I only wanted to take some food and clothes and then leave again. But because you all threw yourselves on me, I had to defend myself.”

  Pavel snorted. “That didn’t give you any reason to draw a knife.”

  “I’m really sorry about that, too,” Lilith whispered, pulling herself up.

  But just like after the fight, the man wasn’t listening. “You’re a filthy murderer,” he hissed.

  That remark stung.

  “I don’t even know how to kill someone with a knife. I’m truly glad I never learned that,” she whispered, for which she received a blow to the side of her head. Pavel was raising his hand again when Lemuel joined them.

  “The woman will be tried by lord Yvar. This is not the way,” he said, stopping his son.

  Pavel nodded reluctantly and they both disappeared from her sight. When, not much later, the wagon started moving again, Lilith had no choice but to walk alongside it. Her wet clothes stuck to her body, and the cold wind rose again. Lilith sneezed. She envied Pavel, who was wrapped in a warm cape and could take shelter under his hood. He rubbed his waist with his left arm. Concerned, Lemuel leaned towards him and whispered something inaudible. The answer was drowned out by another sneezing fit.

  As she wiped her nose on her shoulder, Lilith let her gaze wander along the horizon. The snow had turned the landscape nearly as white as the sky. Nevertheless, she could distinguish a thin, grey line indicating the horizon. To the left there was a group of trees, but there was nothing else to be seen. Trying to wrap her blanket closer around her body, Lilith heaved a sigh of relief. There was no trace of her pursuers.

  “I hope that’s not another hail storm,” Lemuel muttered as he peered into the distance. Lilith now also noticed the dark clouds gathering again.

  “I hope so, too. There aren’t many farms around here where we can take shelter,” his son answered.

  Lilith quickened her pace to get alongside the coach-box in order to catch the conversation. She picked up enough words to piece together a story, which turned out to be a reiteration of a conversation they had held a few times before.

  “What a year,” the old man sighed. “Do you think this is a punishment of the Gods?”

  Pavel shrugged. “What makes you think we should be punished? Even if the Gods would exist. Sometimes I think the Gods were invented only to keep us docile.”

  Lilith was amazed that someone could think that Gods didn’t exist. It had never even crossed her mind to doubt Jakob’s existence, let alone question the truth of everything she had been told about Him. She thought about it but quickly dismissed the idea. Her master had had other ways to make her obey.

  “I know our faith means a lot to you, father. But people seem to be just as capable of creating things as the so-called Gods are, and there’s no proof of Their existence.”

  “There’s plenty of evidence, but we’re just not intelligent enough to recognize the signs. Therefore, some people say it’s all nonsense.”

  “The miracles performed by the Gods? Those are just stories written a long time ago, so no one knows what really happened any more. I’m convinced there’s a logical explanation for everything, including the harsh winter that sweeps over Merzia right now.”

  Lemuel shook his head disapprovingly. “Maybe people like you are to blame for the Gods bringing this winter upon us. You, who favour scientists…”, Lemuel pronounced the word with contempt, “… over the Gods. All these so-called men of learning have only led us astray from that which is important.”

  Suddenly Lilith slipped on the snow. She slammed head first into the ground and was dragged along by the leash for several yards before Lemuel could bring the horses to a halt. In the meantime Pavel had jumped off the coach-box. Lilith was trying to scramble to her feet, but the man picked her up and shoved her back into the wagon. Then he cautiously climbed in as well.

  “Does it hurt a lot?” she whispered. Pavel looked surprised but didn’t say anything. “I’m really sorry that I did that to you. Honestly.”

  He glared at her furiously and tied the ropes around her ankles even tighter than he normally did. Lilith groaned, but he ignored her. Before he left he snarled at her, “What good are your excuses to me? Do you think they’ll make me forget what you did to me and my brother? I’m glad you’ll be sentenced soon and I hope the punishment will be severe.”

  Pavel walked away, leaving a sorrowful Lilith behind. She felt a stabbing pain in her temples. This was what her master had always warned her about; people wanted to capture her, hurt her, kill her. And only because I... Lilith pushed the thought aside, scared that the two men would somehow pick up on it. It wasn’t even true to begin with; these people weren’t holding her captive because of what she was, but because of what she had done. As far as she knew, they had no idea what was hidden behind her emaciated, weak appearance.

  She struggled to get under the blanket but eventually gave up. For the first time since they had started their journey, she was worried about what the king would have in store for her.

  It was as bad as they had feared. They failed to find a farm to spend the night that evening, so they stopped at a clearing in the woods. While Pavel got Lilith out of the wagon, Lemuel built a fire. The sky had cleared up, holding the promise of a night that would, at least for the most part, be dry.

  “I have to pee.”

  Lilith turned to face Pavel and nodded at her bonds. The man reluctantly untied the ropes. The leash around her waist, however, stayed where it was. Before Lilith could disappear between the bushes, Pavel ordered her to remain within sight. She reluctantly squatted down on her hunches. How humiliating it was to do this with Pavel’s eyes watching her back.

  Apparently he thought she was taking too long, because all of a sudden Pavel gave a tug on the leash. Lilith groped around, but her hands didn’t find anything to hold on to. Lying on her back, she reached out for the gold necklace she was wearing. Had he known whom he was dealing with, the man would certainly treat her differently. Lilith smirked as she imagined him begging for mercy before she took her revenge. But then she dismissed the plan, she couldn’t use the power of the necklace.

  Walking back, Lilith observed the situation at the camp closely. Lemuel was paying no attention to her and was still sitting at the fire, which was burning fiercely by now. She extended her arms to give the impression that she would obediently let them be tied again, but as soon as Pavel tried to put the rope around her wrists, she jumped towards him. He screamed when she hit him in the waist, and they were both knocked down to the frozen ground. They were tumbling all over each other. Then she hit him on the temple and Pavel stayed down, stunned.

  Lilith crawled towards the edge of the wood as fast as she could, but Pavel had recovered and jumped on top of her. His weight pressed her into the dirt.

  “You shall not escape your punishment. I won’t let you,” he hissed in her ear.

  “We’ll see about that,” she gasped in reply, pushing him away from her.

  Lilith jumped up and ran towards the bushes. Her heart was pounding in her ears, drowning out all other sounds. She was nearly there. Just a few more yards and she would be able to escape. Only one more yard and the bushes would protect her.

  Suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her calf. Her strength dissipated and she fell face down in the bushes. The sounds returned: the men were shouting and the fire was roaring. Lilith tried to get up, but her right leg wasn’t cooperating. Bewildered, she noticed the blood oozing down her calf. Then she looked at the two men, who were running towards her, and yelled that she surrendered.

  Lemuel aimed his bow at her again to ensure she wouldn’t do anything. Meanwhile, his son fastened the ropes around her wrists so tightly that they cut into her flesh. Lilith tried to ignore the pain by focussing on Lemuel’s arms. They were shaking because he had kept his weapon drawn for too long.

  Only when his son had dragged her towards the fire, did Lemuel put the bow away. Lilith gritted her teeth
when he pulled the arrow out of her leg. After he had tied her ankles back together, he threw a blanket over her. It slid halfway down her shoulders, but this time the old man made no effort to cover her up properly.

  “What are we to do with you? I’m glad we can hand you over to the king tomorrow.”

  Lemuel shook his head disapprovingly. Lilith looked away.

  Without heeding her any more attention, the two men sat down at the other side of the fire where the flames hid them from her sight. Lemuel spoke softly to his son, who from time to time responded in a loud and angry voice. Lilith knew they were talking about her but she didn’t want to hear it. Instead, she listened to the crackling flames.

  When the fire was beginning to die down, Lemuel got up to gather his cooking gear. Pavel was staring into the flames. His legs were crossed and his shoulders hunched. Lilith studied his face, which was bruised and swollen up around his temple. She didn’t feel sorry for him, given that he had done the same to her. Her jaw was throbbing because his fist had hit it full force, and she was hurting in other places as well. Every time she moved her arms, however slightly, the ropes cut deeper into her wrists.

  As if he sensed she was staring at him, Pavel suddenly looked straight at her. His eyes blazed with an anger that stirred up even more because she kept staring back. He roughly poked the fire with a stick, causing it to flare up again.

  “Easy, son, otherwise you won’t be getting anything to eat for a while.”

  Pavel threw away the stick. It missed Lilith’s shoulder by an inch.

  The clattering of pans and spoons preceded the delicious smell of roasted meat and vegetables. Lilith became aware of her hunger through the loud growling of her stomach. Expecting that the men would share their food with her, she sat up. Pavel kept moving his spoon in her direction before taking a bite. Lilith licked her cracked lips, following the spoon with her eyes.

  “You’ve cooked excellently again, father. I was really starving, too,” he said with his mouth full.